Forgiveness

It might seem odd to find the subject of forgiveness on a website that focuses on developing healthy habits. Most people think of forgiveness in terms of spirituality. It's a common theme among the major world religions and that's usually how many of us have come to be familiar with the term. Yet, how many people actually know that forgiveness isn't just for the soul? Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Letting go of pent up feelings over being slighted, hurt or humiliated has some definite health benefits. Of course, the converse is true. Not being able to let go of the feelings you harbor over those same hurts and slights can be harmful to your physical health.

Are you Forgiving? -- Signs and Symptoms

Every day each and every one of us suffers some form of hurt or slight at the hands of another person. Often it's from someone whom we know. More frequently, it originates from a total stranger. Some of us are able to handle it while others fret for days, weeks, months and even years over perceived slights. Some telltale signs of not being able to forgive are:

Dwelling on the events surrounding the offense over an extended period of time
Experiencing sleep disturbances because you can't stop thinking about the perceived offense
Hearing from others that you have a chip on your shoulder; that you're wallowing in self-pity; or that your anger frightens them
Being avoided by family and friends because they don't enjoy being around you
Having angry outbursts at the smallest perceived slights
Feeling misunderstood
Drinking excessively, smoking or using drugs to try to cope with your pain
Having symptoms of depression or anxiety
Being consumed by a desire for revenge or punishment
Automatically thinking the worst about people or situations

These are all very self-destructive behaviors and can take a serious toll on your physical health. They can also affect your relationship with others.

The Physical Toll

When we feel hurt and treated unfairly by others we often experience very strong emotional reactions. These reactions are closely related to the "fight or flight" response and trigger chemical reactions within our body that can actually cause us damage if we do not fight or run away. Some typical physical symptoms are:

Increased heart rate
Elevated blood pressure
Muscle pains especially in the neck, back and limbs
Headaches
Impaired digestion due to decreased blood
Problems with breathing
Anxiety and panic attacks
Grinding of teeth especially when asleep
Weakened immune system due to insufficient sleep
Inability to focus

In summary, being able to forgive is good for your body, your mind and your relationships. That alone should be enough to convince just about anyone to be more forgiving. You have nothing to lose and quite a lot to gain if you do.

See learn how to forgive for tips and suggestions on how to develop the habit of forgiveness.